Marriage was designed to be beautiful and romantic.
But in reality,
why is it so hard to sustain the kind of marriage we long for?
Is it because we can’t communicate?
Because of personality differences?
Because the other person has changed?
When you slow down and reflect,
you may begin to realise，
the problem is not simply even about who is right or wrong.
The deeper issue is this:
our hearts have not truly learned how to love.
In real life, love often follows this pattern:
- Love begins with our earliest connections which is the bonding with our parents during childhood.
- When those needs are unmet, they create a hunger within us
- We project those inner longings into an “ideal partner”
- When we meet someone, we think it’s true love, but often we are loving our own expectations
- When that person cannot fulfil our inner needs, disappointment begins
Romantic love is real.
But the intense feeling of being “in love”
is often influenced by chemistry and emotions.
Over time, those feelings naturally fade.
Because God’s design for marriage
was never meant to stay at the level of feelings,
but to grow into a real and deep relationship.
The source of true love is God.
Agape love is unconditional,
it is a choice, a giving, a sacrifice.
If we are not first filled with love,
we will enter relationships with need, control and defensiveness.
And in marriage,
the greatest enemy is often self-centeredness.
We see our own needs,
but fail to see the other person.
We think we are right,
but fail to understand their struggle.
Therefore, when love feels difficult,
don’t rush to change the other person.
Return to God.
Receive His love.
Because only a healed heart can love in a healthy way.
Marriage is not about finding a perfect person.
It is about seeing your true self,
accepting an imperfect partner,
and growing together.
How do we love and not hurting each other？
See you in the next chapter.
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