We may have learned to love each other
and even tried to give what the other person needs,
but why does conflict still happen?
The truth is
every relationship will have conflict.
This is normal.
Because a relationship is
two imperfect people walking together.
The problem has never been
whether we argue or not
but how we handle conflict.
Very often, we naturally fall into patterns like:
criticism, contempt, defensiveness or stonewalling.
These patterns may seem common,
but they slowly erode love over time
and cause the relationship to grow cold.
When conflict builds up,
the relationship enters a stage known as
the power struggle.
You try to prove that you are right,
I try to prove that I am not wrong.
In the end, no one wins,
but two lovers growing further apart.
Each of us enters a relationship
with our own version of what “love” looks like
and much of it is shaped by our childhood experiences and past experiences
So we begin to protect ourselves in different ways:
Some withdraw and avoid.
Some keep pleasing others.
Some become inconsistent between connect and reject.
Some try to control everything.
Some feel like they are always the victims.
This is why the same desire for love
can lead to very different kinds of pain.
So what does a healthy relationship look like?
It is the presence of a secure and safe connection.
A space where we can:
be honest,
be vulnerable,
be understood,
and still feel safe.
Healing in a relationship does not begin with changing the other person
we learn and grow together,
recognise our own patterns,
face our inner wounds,
express ourselves honestly,
and rebuild connection.
How do we create this kind of safe connection
even in the midst of conflict?
To be continued…
Leave a Reply